OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I've blown a few things in my day
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
