I want to make a zoo with you.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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