based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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