Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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