thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
