oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I will pee on everything he values.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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