I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
