She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
