D3 body, D1 cock
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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