just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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