he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
