This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
