I feel like abortions should bother me more
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
