we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
