U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
