Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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