After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
This is my gift to your gina
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
