you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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