If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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