Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
