So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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