mondays should just be called national damage control day
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
