Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
