I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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