I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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