Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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