so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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