We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
There's always time for handjobs
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
