cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
