Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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