if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
