Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
