ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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