i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
