So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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