Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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