I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
