i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
