You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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