Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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