lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
