You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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