Dual....:-)
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
