I faked an abortion last night.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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