Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
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of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
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I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..