Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll