Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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