my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town