I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
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I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
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he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void