69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You can't motorboat a personality
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
