i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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