id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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