The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize