I want to have your abortion
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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