i was born a porn star she said
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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