morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
