Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
