dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
