also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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