Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
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The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
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I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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