My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
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He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
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I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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